[Lifestyle / Job] I'm tired boss. What a week eh?
All the things that I wrote below were written on the first day of my holiday. A holiday that I took to solve some personal issues and refresh my mind a little bit. I'm better now, but I wanted to post this anyway because someone might be feeling the same way and probably a few days away might help you.
I'm just tired, there's nothing else I want to say.
I am kinda tired. I noticed that a few weeks ago when a lot of stuff that I had to handle was thrown at me. By that I mean personal stuff (family-related), annoying people at my job, health issues, and some sort of lack of money. Yeah, sometimes the world likes to throw a few bombs at you just to make sure that you're alive.
So yeah, of course I had to step away from my job to solve all the other stuff I mentioned because yeah, it's much more important than a job. One thing that I already noticed on my first day away from my job was the fact that I woke up feeling so much lighter.
By lighter, I really mean it. Like happier, with the old will to live a beautiful life and with a ton of plans to do. Even though I had to solve a lot of stuff, I was much happier dealing with these problems than wasting another day at work.
Then I noticed that I'm really tired. Tired of the same old problems, tired of some fake people around me who are grinding through the company ranks and are clearly trying to climb up by sucking up to the higher-ups at the same time. I'm really tired of meaningless discussions that don't take anyone anywhere instead of focusing on really solving real issues. I don't dislike my job, don't get me wrong. Actually, I'm really grateful for it, but lately, so many things have changed, so many different people started to work at the company and I really feel that the mindset is getting even worse.
When I started, it felt like a company where everybody was in the same boat, people were willing to help and you were able to do a lot of stuff. Lately, it feels like a fucking competition where people who weren't able to perform at a top tier now have AI by their side and "supposedly" their flaws are gone. But the harsh reality is that people now are doing less, aren't reading or even learning how to really improve or think. Instead, they are delegating that to a prompt. This is tiring because there's a lot of stuff going on.
That said, apart from the job side, human relationships with family are always a struggle. I still haven't figured out how people can think that just because we are family we NEED to be 100% available all the time. I've been dealing with this for the past few years and just now I figured that probably the best thing I could do is to set a threshold of how far I should go, and after this threshold, just hit the "Well, then I don't care, and I did the best I could" button. Easier said than done, by the way.
Now I'm travelling back to my place, to spend the last few days away from my job, family and problems. I will finish a few games, sleep a little bit, go to the gym at unorthodox times and well, do whatever I want to do just because I can.