how do I measure my own evolution at my daily stuff?
just like Pokémon, people evolve. and while our evolution may not turn us from a small chick into a flaming fighting rooster, it happens every day in more subtle, but equally important, ways.
however, this evolution is rarely automatic. It requires real, honest effort. looking back at my career, I've noticed a pattern: my prior knowledge, whether from college or previous jobs, never seems to be enough to get me going in the first year at a new company. I'm what you might call a "slow starter," meaning I need time to ramp up, which demands constant focus and discipline to improve.
I often wonder about the source of this. is it a trace of ADHD? A touch of laziness? or is it simply a reflection of modern society's pressures? regardless of the answer, one thing is clear: if I don't commit body and soul to a goal, I'm very likely to fail. for me, commitment, just like evolution, is a daily choice.
this becomes especially challenging in my day-to-day work, where I have to delve deep into different contexts to satisfy multiple teams. things can get complicated when you start to accumulate "pending tasks" that are stuck waiting on someone else or even an entire department.
that’s when the "slow starter" feeling gets amplified. you're staring at a castle you need to conquer, but you feel like you’ve only been given a butter knife. the feeling is brutally real. in these moments, the sense of "evolving" vanishes. you’re not growing; you're just stuck.
when I hit this wall, I’ve learned to bring the focus back to myself. I start asking questions: "is there anything in this situation that is still within my control?" "is my contribution finished, or is there another way I could be useful?"
and almost instantly, force myself to somehow realize the feeling of stagnation is a fallacy. the evolution hasn't stopped; it has just changed form. it's no longer about conquering the castle, but about sharpening the knife.