evolution is personal
we’ve all been there. a call or a coffee catch-up with a familiar face you haven't seen in a while. a former colleague, a previous manager, a teammate from a long finished project. you go through the usual pleasantries, trade updates on work and life, and reminisce about the "good old days."
then, a pause. he look at you, maybe with a slight tilt of the head, and say something that cuts through the small talk.
"you know, you're different."
it’s not an accusation, but an observation. it’s followed by something like, "the way you talk about your work now... there's a different level of confidence," or "i remember when you used to struggle and stutter with X, and listening to you now, it’s clear how much you've grown."
this is the moment I want to talk about. not the feedback you get in a performance review, not the praise you receive after a successful launch, and not a compliment you fished for. this is the unsolicited, genuine recognition of your evolution. and honestly, I don't think any professional praise feels quite as good as a genuine point of reflection that now you're a better person.
something that I kept asking is why does this specific kind of feedback land with such an impact? I believe it's because the source is an 'untainted mirror'. this person isn’t your current boss with an agenda for your next performance cycle. he is not a direct report who might feel obligated to be kind. he is a 'time capsule'. he hold a snapshot of who you were your skills, your mindset, your communication style at a fixed point in the past.
his surprise and recognition are pure and have no other reason to say it other than the fact that they genuinely see a change. he is comparing the "you then" with the "you now," and the result is significant enough to warrant a comment.
in the daily grind, it’s hard for us to see our own growth. evolve is a slow process, incremental, and often born from struggle and difficulties. we don't wake up one day suddenly better, unfortunately lol.
we become better through a thousand tiny decisions, difficult conversations, challenging projects, and late nights spent learning. this process made us always too close to the painting to see the whole picture. that old colleague provides the external, long view perspective that we can never have on our own.
it’s Personal, Not Just Professional what makes these moments even more profound is that the compliments are rarely just about technical skills. they aren't saying, "your ability to write user stories has improved by 40%", and probably the better stuff are all the things that you can not count or even easily measured.
instead, they point to something deeper:
"you articulate your vision so clearly now".
"you seem so much more comfortable leading that kind of discussion".
"you think about problems on a completely different level than you used to".
primarily these are observations about your growth as a person, which manifests in your professional life. as a Product Owner, this is the core of our journey. we evolve from focusing on features to obsessing over outcomes; from managing a backlog to leading a team toward a vision. this isn't just learning a new framework, wich is a topic that I want to discuss here lately; it's a fundamental shift in mindset. evolution is personal.