are we just numbers? finding your real impact when everything feels temporary.
let's be honest. people that work at tech are obsessed with impact. we live by metrics, fight for roadmap items that will "move the needle", and feel a genuine rush when we ship something that customers love. we pour our evenings, our focus, and our creative energy into building something of value.
but then, a late-night thought creeps in, perhaps after a re-org announcement or seeing another wave of industry layoffs on linkedIn: how much of this actually matters? what is the real value of all this effort?
I'm not talking about job security. for me it's a deeper, more personal question about my identity. am I just a number on a spreadsheet, a "headcount" to be optimized? and how do I reconcile this pressure to constantly deliver and evolve with the need to actually live my life as a human being?
I was recently looking at my 'to-do' list and had that familiar sinking feeling. I wasn't going to meet my own deadlines for most of my tasks, thanks to a week derailed by "urgent" meetings and last-minute fire drills. it made me wonder if I'm the only one who feels that the more you do, the more you have to do. it’s a flywheel that just keeps spinning faster, and the list never ends.
that's when the deeper, more personal question hits: how much of this actually matters? if it can all be taken away tomorrow a project canceled, a role eliminated. what is the real value of all this effort?
how do we cope with the fact that ultimately we are not a number? I still struggle with that thought from time to time.
maybe the answer isn't to find our value on the company's balance sheet. maybe it's to recognize the value they can never quantify and can never take away.
it's in the skill you mastered during that impossible project. it’s in the integrity you kept when it would have been easier to cut a corner. it’s in the trust you built with a colleague, the moment of mentorship you offered, or the difficult feedback you delivered with kindness.
it's in the decision to close the laptop and be present with your family. (this is REALLY important)
the corporate flywheel will keep spinning. that is it's true nature. but perhaps our most meaningful impact is built in the quiet moments. the one that measures our worth not in story points, but all the rest. and focusing on 'the rest' is how we remind ourselves that we are, after all, human.
MPM